I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
