you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We are all done wearing pants today
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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