come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
