I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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