I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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