3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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