Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize