apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
