where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
