after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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