those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
