Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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