plz talk dirty to me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
