I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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