this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
