Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
