How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
