i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
