Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
