The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
