i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So much rum. So many feels.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
