her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
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