she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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