Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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