You really coming over, don't trick.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize