just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
