I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize