Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
In America we eat man semen.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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