apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
