i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just cropdusted the office
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
