My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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