Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
