Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
