I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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