check it out our google latitudes are spooning
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
