the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
