i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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