I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
