what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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