remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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