my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
