His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
