Church boner. Awkwardddd
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
