Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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