Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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