and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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