He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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