Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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