I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
