Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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