I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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