You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize