He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
