This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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