Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
