I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
soo... how was my night?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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