Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
