If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
