Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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