Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
