Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
