I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize