So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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