when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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