Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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