chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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