Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm way too hungover for life right now
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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