I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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