Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
