Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
