Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
