You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
