You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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