i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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