Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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