I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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