I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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