but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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