Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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